Uniquely Me

They say that we are all unique and special in some way. Most of the times though, I doubt that to be true for myself. But right now, I wanna be optimistic and try to see what's unique in me.

Allow me to celebrate my being a very special me...

1. I can stay underwater for more than 2 minutes. - nagtra-train ako baka kayanin kong mag- muro ami in the future. Haha

2. I don't eat vegetables (exception: Mongolian). - dieta ako kapag nakina Jay dahil favorite nila ang gulay.

3. I can beat my brothers, and some guys (not JAY) in swimming races. - dapat nga mag-compete din ako sa Milo Little Olympics kaso nagkasakit ako nun.

4. I love making lists of everything... budget, expenses, things to do, things to buy...

5. I have more than a hundred e-books of my favorite authors like Sidney Sheldon, Nicholas Sparks, John Grisham, James Patterson, etc.. but I have only read 1. ( I prefer reading the hard copy, but I like them for collection.) - binili ko yung celfone ko for the Ebooks function, pero dko naman ginagamit.

6. Used to compete with other schools (high school) as a debater, joined an inter-class Oratorical contest, and represented my school in a biology quiz-bee at UP.- yun nga lang, d ako nananalo. Hahaha.

7. I was a member of our school's track and field team (Elementary) who competed in Milo Little Olympics. - kaya siguro ang laki ng binti ko.

8. I cry over everything - books, movies, tv series, songs, and even commercials. - And I loooove it! Gusto ko lagi umiiyak.... :D

9. I danced (group / choreographed) at every Christmas Party and every occassion which required a performance since Grade 3 to 3rd year college. - Performer at heart talaga ako eh!

10. I was a Choir member when I was 17; we sang in Sta Lucia East Grand Mall masses, and at the Misa de Gallo aired on channel 9 that year.- sabi sayo eh, performer talaga ako eh, miski pagkanta, sinabak ko rin! :)

11. I do not buy clothes more than P300, and I only have 2 that cost that much.- in fairness to me, nakakahanap naman ako ng mga damit na mura kaya madami rin naman akong damit...

12. I knew I wanted to marry Jay 2 months into our relationship, and I married him 4 months after. - Sabi ko, kapag gusto ko, gawin ko lahat para makuha ko... :)

13. I used to have a 22-inch waistline in HS, 23 in college. - now--- don't ask. Haha.

14. I really like, and I think somehow I could say I'm good at solving brain teasers - check out geniusatwork.multiply.com

15. I have another life - Haha. When I am bored, frustrated or simply want to be entertained, I drift off to my imaginary world.

16. I was a hard-core fan of Formula Shell and Victor Pablo back in 1996-2000. - collects newspaper clippings, watch every game on tv, watched about 10 games live, at minsan nagpagupit at highlight ako ng buhok dahil sa kabwisitan ng matalo ang Shell.

17. I blow a kiss everytime I pass by Marcos Bridge in the morning.- sa kabila kasi, andun si Jay nagtratabaho. :-*

18. I dip my green mangoes in soy suace with sugar - ngayon I have learned to appreciate bagoong as well, pero I still like the toyo and asukal sawsawan... try it, masarap...

19. I watched (in the cinemas) Magic Temple (Tagalog movie feat Anna Larucea, Jason Salcedo, Junell Hernando & Mark Solis) 7 times. - Namemorize ko ang bawat dialogue at kanta sa pelikula.

20. I have very sensitive knees that easily gets dislodged. - AAAArgh. Kapag naiisip ko, nangigilabot ako. Ilang beses na kasi nangyari na gumalaw pa-side yung tuhod ko at SOBRA masakit siya... Kaya dko pinapahawakan at laging nakabend and tuhod ko kapag nakahiga..

21. I have mild trichotillomania (compulsion to pull out stray hair). - Haha. D naman ako praning, pero sobrang gusto kong bunutin yung mga nakikita kong maikli at patay na buhok. Minsan nga sa pila at nasa unahan ko ay maraming nakatayong buhok, NAKU!! Hirap na hirap ako magpigil!!! Hahahahah.

The Start of Something Beautiful

After years of separation, I met Jay again. I remember how he looked, how he acted... I remember what I felt seeing him again... My mom and I were sitting on the grass by the river and He was walking towards us, wearing a white shirt wih a left chest pocket. I remember how at the end of the day, the pocket would already be torn.I remember I kept on looking at him that day. He had, has I would actually say, a certain aura that makes you look and stare. He has a magnet within, a certain charisma that attracts you...

I wanted to say hi,I wanted to talk to him, but I did not know how to. We were friends before, but after 6 years, how am I to greet him? Besides, my emotions were all wierd that time so I was not confident enough... Sometimes he would also look at me, although most probably not with the same feelings that I was having. I could remember him looking directly at me, with that special look he has that makes you feel he could see right through you, a look that would melt you. His is the kind of persona who may not speak much, yet is able to say a lot. Although honestly, I did not know what he was trying to say. Maybe hello, or maybe nothing at all...

They were teasing him that day, trying to pair him up with someone, and at the back of my head I was thinking, "Why are you pairing him up with her, why not me?!"..And then I remembered why not... Because we were just friends before... And it made me think, Gosh.. I really like this guy. Actually, I should have known that the moment I saw him. The moment my heart skipped a beat and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Well, thinking again, I have known that way back. I have liked him the moment I met him in 1997.

The whole day, I was very nervous, not knowing what to say or do. But one thing I know is that I wanted him to approach me, to talk to me, and to actually see me the way I see him. Not as the young girl he was friends with 6 years before, but a young lady capable of loving.

I prayed, waited, anticipated...At the end of the day, he actually did approach me. He actually talked to me. I was walking my dog and he actually walked beside me and chatted. I cant remember the words he spoke, but I remember what I felt. I was giddy, excited and hopeful... Gosh, my prayer worked. I still did not know at that time whether he sees me as a "young lady capable of loving", but I know at that moment, it could be a start of something beautiful.

And indeed it was.

*5 years after*

Proms and Grad Balls

Maaring di maiintindihan ng mga taong nag-aral sa co-ed schools, pero para sa mga nag-aral sa exclusive schools nung high school, sobrang kakaiba at monumental na event ang prom..

Mga dahilan:

1. Sa isang magarbong hotel ginaganap ang prom: Manila Hotel, Shangri-la Makati, Peninsula...

2. Todo preparations- Meron naman ibang hindi, but most of us had to have our hair and makeup done sa parlor, dresses bought, all guys wear suits, girls buy boutonniere (flowers worn on their chest) for boys, boys buy corsage (flowers worn on the wrists) for girls & better cars borrowed from parents (those who are richer get to bring their own)...

3. Gimik after- Kadalasan, we go to gimiks after the prom.. Medyo nakakahiya na we're all dressed-up, but it adds up to the fun naman...

4. Asking for a date - Dahil exclusive schools nga kami, hindi kami pwede pag-partner partnerin para sa prom. So ang nangyayari, we ask for dates. Ito na ang pagkakataon ng mga babaing may lakas ng loob na yayain ang kanilang mga crush... at yung walang lakas ng loob, or yun mga wala naman talagang mga crush, mga pinsan, kaibigan, o blind date ang dala.

5. Being asked to be a date - At dahil meron din namang exclusive boys schools, kailangan din nilang mag-imbita ng kanilang mga dates. Syempre, very flattering, at kung gusto mo yung guy: nakakakilig naman ang maimbitihan para maging date sa prom. I was invited sa Ateneo prom both my 3rd and 4th yr and somehow, medyo mas nag-enjoy pa ata ako sa prom nila kasi sa prom namin...

Here is a glimpse of my prom experiences:


Ateneo Juniors Prom '99, Shangri-La Makati.
Date: Ian Puertollano, a friend, a daily ka-telebabad, not sure if he liked me romantically, I thought he did (feeling! :) ), but nung 4th yr, I learned na si Les pala ang gusto niya... Hahahaha. Well, that time akala ko naman nga like niya ako kaya medyo super kilig factor nung prom. Hahaha.


Miriam Juniors Prom '99, Peninsula Manila.
Date: Ninoy (forgot his last name), classmate ni Ian (their class and ours had an interaction kaya friend-friends kunwari kami).. Dapat ata si Ian talaga ang ka-date ko, kasi siya naman ang closest sakin that time, but I think hindi ata siya pinayagan or something...So, go for the 2nd choice..


Ateneo Grad Ball '00, Manila Hotel
Date: Cannot recall his name. Haha, sorry... Classmate ng pinsan ni Bang, na naging date ni Pili. Bang was also there with another classmate kaya magkakasama kami sa 1 table at nung gimik after. May gf naman itong guy na ito, d lang pwede yung gf niya kaya ako nlang. Kaya wala namang kilig factor.


Miriam Grad Ball '00, Manila Hotel
Date: Lesley, bestfriend... Medyo ngasawa na siguro ako sa mga padate-date na yan, kaya went with my friends nlang. hehe. Saka we were thinking ata na dahil we will be graduating soon, ay spend nalang namin tong Grad Ball with one another. Aargh. Ayoko ng itsura ko dito, almost did not want to post this... Hehe..

Talo ang Purefoods

Hindi ko naman talaga team ang Purefoods dati. Nagustuhan ko lang sila ngayon dahil sa 2 ewn ko kung valid na rason...

Una: Team ni Jay ang Purefoods

Pangalawa: Andun si James Yap na asawa ni Kris Aquino. Hehehehe.

Babaw ba? Anyway, basta ngayon, kung tatanungin ako, Purefoods na ang team ko...

Natalo sila kahapon sa finals. Naging maganda naman yung finals series. Paano, bukod sa nasuspende dahil sa panununtok ang akala mong napakabait na si James Yap, umabot sa game 7 ang series na ito.

Kahapon nga, yung game 7. At yun, talo. Paano kasi, d pumutok si James Yap eh. Tapos puro pa sila foul trouble. O baka naman, naging magaling lang talaga kalaban nila, yung Sta. Lucia.

Ewan din..

she'll always be THE woman for me

**Let me share a blog post that my husband made almost a year ago... Pasensya na Mahal kung pinost ko.. :) **

My wife... My life.

Recollecting few memories some ten years back, I've known her to be a very sweet, bubbly girl, yet exhibits a very strong personality. Qualities I find cute for a girl who had just stepped into teenagehood to posses. I don't remember spending a dull moment with her, though the time we shared then, so short.We then lost track.

She hasn't changed much today. She still is that same very sweet and bubbly girl. The personality she usually owns, though, modified. It intensified.Her love for life, undying pursuit of love and happiness makes her so special. So smart and intelligent, and has tremendous charm and sex appeal. Expressive, assertive, strong. That's her, up close and personal.

Though most of the times she is in her "I wish and I hope" modes, I don't consider it as a personal disliking. That is just how we were created, discontentment written all over.

In her opinion, Rachel Anne Go is the girl. She has a crystal voice. Hers she say is inconsisitent.

She wish she was sculptured like a goddess. She thinks she has unfittingly big lower parts.

She would not mind having a hair as thick and smooth as those shampoo endorsers. Hers she claims is rough and stubborn.

It may be true. But she's got her own. Voice, body, hair. Everything. All hers.

There will always be others to compare to - people who are prettier or more talented that we are. But if we waste our lives dwelling on those things we don't have, we will never get to fully appreciate all the things we have. We are the only person in this world who is exactly like us. No one else has particular talents, particular goals. You are the only you... Just as I'm the only me. We are one of a kind, and the best we there is.

As though it is not enough, let me share you this.

You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.

The imperfectly perfect you.

I soooooooo Want This.....

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welcome drinks,
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Two (2) days lunch,
one (1)regular dinner,
One (1) session of Body Massage for 2,
Roundtrip boat transfer,
Complimentary use of swimming pool, tennis court, basketball court and other resort selected recreational facilities.
PLUS! Exclusive Romantic Dinner with Bottle of Wine

One Liter of Tears

Nalaman ko ang series na ito dahil kay Lesley. Si Paula at si Lesley, ang aking mga kaibigang adik, or obsessed? sa hapon ay narinig ko minsang magusap tungkol dito. Actually, dpa napapanood ni Paula ito. Hindi kasi siya mahilig sa drama eh. But narinig ko na sinabi ni Les na maganda ang One Liter of Tears. Tapos nabasa ko sa blog ni Les ang synopsis ng istorya. Grabe, sa synopsis palang, naiyak na ako. Haha.

Kaya agad-agad kong sinubukang panoorin ang series sa Crunchyroll. True to what Les said, nakakaiyak talaga siya. Mukha na nga akong tanga kasi sa sala namin ako nanonood at iyak ako ng iyak. Sobrang love ko siya!!!!! 11 episodes lang siya at nasa episode 5 na ako. Yun nga lang...

Hindi ako magkaroon ng pagkakataon na tapusin ang One Liter of Tears. Wala kasi akong dvd nito, kaya sa internet ko lang pwede mapanood. Dahil naghigpit na sa opisina, hindi ako makapagstream dun. Kaya, yung oras ko nlang sa bahay ang natitira. Syempre, hindi naman ako pwede manood nlang ng palabas dahil may mga nak at asawa naman ako na dapat bigyang oras diba?

Minsan, 2 beses na nagkaroon ako dapat ng chance na manood nito. Wala kasi akong pasok at natutulog pa si Jay. Pero sa ewan ko bang dahilan, nagtopak sa parehong araw ang aming internet.. AAAAAAAARGH!!! Kagaya ngayon. Paputol-putol ang connection kaya pwede ako magpost but d ako pwede mg stream.... AAAAAAARGH talaga....

Nami-miss ko na si Ikeuchi Aya. Gusto ko ng umiyak....

Ang Palpak kong Camera

Sa dko parin alam na kadahilanan, sira ang camera ko ngayon. Ewan ko ba dun.. bigla nalang pagkuha ko ng aking first picture sa Boracay, sira na siya. Overexposed ang dating nung picture, sobrang liwanag at halos walang image. Grabe. Halos maiyak ako sa bwisit. Nagdadabog na nga ako eh. D ako makapaniwala na bigla nalang siya masisira. Buti nlang talaga at nakabili na sina mommy ng camera. (At mas maganda pa camera nila).

Naiisip ko kung ano kaya ang mangyari sa akin kung ngkataon na walang camera sina mommy o kaya kami lang ni jay ang nagpunta. Naku. Sigurado sira na talaga ang bakasyon ko. I truly fear the thought.. Grabe.. Na dko macapture ang ganda at saya ng aming bakasyon... Haay...
Yun nga lang, d rin ako masyado nakakuha ng mga artistic shots.. paano kasi pinatamad ako ng clouds eh. Hindi kasi maganda ang colors dahil walang araw. Kaya ayun, puro mukha nalang namin ang pictures ko.

Ahehehe.

What I loved and hated about BORA

I loved:


1. Food galore - After a month of starving myself, I ate non-stop in Bora - of course, all cahrged to Mommy... :D


2. Boracay Regency- the hotel is a AAA resort, 4 swimming pools, nice rooms, buffet breakfast & unlimited beach towels...


3. People watching - about 40% of the people there were foreigners... i loved looking at the different outfits people were wearing...

4. Walking by the beach - always a romantic thing...

5. Not too much gastos- paid only for my airfare; accomodations, food and activities all sponsored by Mommy.. :D

6. Pictures - had Jay and I been alone, who would've taken our pictures?!!!!!!


7. Family bonding - Paguio family loves outings and out of town trips...


8. Experienced my 1st plane ride


9. Waves- Made swimming more fun


10. Banana boat - Jay didnt want to go at first, good thing he finally agreed.. he got to enjoy as well..


I HATED:

1.THE WEATHER!!!! - Cloudy skies, lots of cold wind, a little drizzle... got to see just 1 incomplete sunset, no beachside parties and our island hopping was incomplete.


2. Room sharing - we all shared the family unit (2 rooms), which was enough for sleeping space, but sadly, Jay and I didnt have enough privacy.. *wink wink*


3.vacation too short - 3 nights passed by like a breeze... It was so bitiiiiin.. almost want to stay there forever...

Superheroes

Nagdalawang isip ako kung bibilhan ko ba ng costumes ang aking mga bebe para sa bday party ni Terence (anak ni Kite). Paano kasi, medyo mahal e baka hindi naman magamit pa ulit. At syempre, yung kuripot side of me is saying na sayang ang pera.

Pero nung nagsukat sila nung costumes nila, nakita ko na sobrang tuwang-tuwa sila sa costumes nila!!!! Si andre, walang tigil sa katatalon at kasisigaw... "Labanan na!!!" sabay sugod sa kapatid niya at kay Bunini... Ang cute nila...

Kaya ayun, kahit mapagastos, binili ko na... Masaya naman sila eh... :)

3 days to Bora

Mukha ba akong deprived kung sabihin kong dpa ako nakakapunta sa Boracay? Well, yun nga. I havent been there. Matter of fact, ni hindi pa ako nakakasakay ng airplane. Hehehe.

Well, that is about to change dahil on Feb 14-17, I am finally going to Boracay!!!!

Ang tagal ng nakaplano nito, December plang nakareserve na ang plane tickets at hotel namin. Nung January, nagsimula na akong mgdiet at mgexercise. Grabe, nakakasubok ng aking disiplina, willpoer at determinasyon ang pagdi-diet ko! SOBRANG dame ko na-miss na pagkain, takam na takam ako lagi!!! Hehehe. Yung exercise ko though, feeling ko I could have, and should have done more... Nahuli kasi yung Hiphop Abs DVD nung ofcmate ko eh...

Anyway, sobra excited na ako... Dpa ako handa, may mga kulang pa sa mga damit ko, may mga dapat pa akong ibawas na timbang, at may mga bibilihin pa akong baon. Pero ano ba? Hindi ba sabi nila na big chunk of enjoying your travel would be in the preparations and the excitement? Kaya, let me be...

Excited na ako!!!!!

Sometimes in April

Watched this movie last night, and it sure tore my heart apart. The movie is about the genocide that took place in Rwanda in 1994 and unless yours is a heart of stone, you would truly be moved by the immensity of the cruelty there was that time.

This film made me wonder how people could be so evil. I know there are certain people who may be different from the rest and sometimes they do bad things, but we are talking about a whole race here. Not even just a group like the terrorists that we have now, but hundreds of Hutu people believing themselves to be superior than the Tutsis. And there more than just a hundred deaths, not even thousands. We are talking about 800,000 lives lost in a period of just 100 days.

Worse is that this is not an isolated event. We have way too many examples of the cruelty that there is in the hearts of men. In the Sierra Leone Civil War in 1991 tens of thousands civilian people were amputated & killed. And the perpetrators? Not only men, but boys as well. The Srebenica Massacre in 1995 killed 8000 innocent men in Bosnia simply to eliminate Muslim men. In the 1930's, Stalin's Great Purge killed more than a million to eliminate all of the opposition from power. And of course, we have the classic example of the evil of man: The Holocaust... Where about 6 million, count that, 6 million Jews were killed.

Why?! How is it possible for people to do that kind of evil?!!!

Give me an answer and I will most probably still not be able to believe...

My Babies the Musicians

Their Mamita bought them new music instruments AKA toys yesterday, and they loved them!!! (Actually, both boys loves the drum set, making them fight a lot....)

One More Chance

Feel kong magpa-Pinoy and watched One More Chance on VCD yesterday. Napanood na ito ng mga kapatid ko and they gave good reviews kaya I wanted to watch it as well. Ano ba ang masasabi ko?

Uhmmmm...

1. Dko gusto acting ni Bea... Sorry ha.. Although maganda siya, medyo sablay yung acting niya eh.
2. Hindi masyadong naging maganda yung pagdevelop nung naging dahilan ng break up nila, at nung naging actions ni "Basha" with "Popoy" after. Ibig kong sabihin, bigla nalang naging ayaw ni babae sa relationship nila, tapo skung tratuhin niya after para bang may ginawang kasalanan si lalake sa kanya. I hated "Basha" because of that.
3.May mga parts na iyak ako ng iyak. Hehe. Not naman as if I could relate, dahil dpa naman ako talaga naging heartbroken over a breakup, but syempre, si super emotional me nadala parin...
4. Naiisip ko 2 tao nung pinanood ko yung movie. Una yung kapatid kong si Tobby, dahil sa naging action niya when his GF broke up with him; and my friend Lesley, dahil sa naging pakikipagbreak-up niya sa kanyang long-term boyfriend dati.

Overall, it was ok. Hindi naman nasayang yung P16 ko pinang-rent nung VCD. :)

Frustration & Disappointment

I'm again in the frustration and disappointment mode.. I don't know, its hard to explain.. What I know is that I feel that I want to be more than what I am, I want to reach my full potential. I am feeling that I was built for more but why I am not able to reach it, I don't know. Regrets of why I took Psychology and not a Management course of some sort. Questions on why now I am just a rank and file employee and not a supervisor or a specialist... Aaaaargh...

Five-Minute Management Lessons

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob, the next-door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great!' the husband says. 'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized, 'Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered, 'Sure , why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird u nder the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

For so long now, I have wanted to live on our own house. Not that I don't like living with my family and having no worries with regards to paying of utility bills and others... But isnt it really nice to live on your own? Wherein you will be able to be free to do what you like, raise your children the way you want to, and be the boss of the house.

I experienced it briefly way back 2005. For 6 months, Jay and I lived on our own in San Pedro Laguna. It was just brief, but it was truly memorable. Until now, I would say that our stay there in San Pedro is my favorite part of our 4 year marriage. It was not complete though, because we were not able to bring Andre with us. ( We didnt have a reliable Yaya then) But still, we were very happy.

I thought we were about to fulfill my dream of living on our own this year. We have saved up enough funds, we already have a reliable yaya, and Jay is already stable (and he likes to stay) in his current job. We planned on transferring either as early as last week of February or latest will be by April.

But... there were some changes to our plans... With the sad and unfortunate diagnosis of Tatay, we decided that it would not be best to transfer now. Jay wants to go home to Pagsanjan every week as much as possible, and that would need us to spend about 3 thousand per month and that would be too much if we are already living on our own. Plus, if we are already on our own house, I would not want not to be able to spend weekends there... So there, decision is... Postpone the dream. Again.

Oh well, this is just temporary. I can wait. Anyway, I am still with Jay and the lids at my mom's house. Plus, I am able to save up money.

Magreklamo pa ba ako?

Tagalog Posts

Parang ang baduy magsulat ng Tagalog kapag sinusubukan mong maging artistic. (See previous post) Either hindi lang siguro ako marunong, o hindi bagay sa akin. Oh well... English nalang ulit siguro sa susunod, unless yung conversational lang talaga yung post ko (gaya nito).

Titser- titseran

Nung bata pa ako, naaala ko na napakahilig kong maglaro ng titser-titseran. Bukod sa mga record books, nagpagawa pa kami ng blackboards na ginagamit namin sa aming kunwaring pagtuturo.

Nung ako ay nasa high school, batid parin ang aking hilig sa pagtuturo. Ako ay minsan napiling maging teacher for a day noong aming Teacher's Day, at talagang tuwang- tuwa ako sa pagtuturo ng Biology, pagiging Homeroom Adviser, at isang Guidance Counselor ng isang buong araw.

Ngayon, muli kong isinasabuhay ang aking munting pangarap na maging isang teacher. Sa pagtitiwala ng aming Operations Supervisor, napili akong magtrain sa mga bagong papasok sa Orders. Tuwang tuwa ako dahil una: napagkatiwalaan ako sa napakalaking responsibilidad na ito; pangalawa: napahinga ako sa aking regular na trabaho at pangatlo: talagang gusto ko ang pagtuturo.

Sa aking Op Sup, salamat sa tiwala. Sa Panginoon, salamat sa oportunidad. Sa aking mga trainees, salamat sa pagtiyaga.

2008 TARGETS

Ito ang mga gusto kong maaccomplish within the calendar year:

1. Pay Increase- well, sabi naman nila this January 25 daw effective na... :)
2. Lipat bahay - tagal na nito, laging nadedelay. Sana ngayon ok na... (We have enough funds na. :))
3. Boracay - bought the tickets na, reserved the hotel na. On Feb 14, we're going to Boracay!!!
4. Promotion - I'm looking at another promotion before the year ends... Not definite, but it will be a good target.
5. Post more blogs - sana wag ako tamarin
6. Develop my photography- ganda camera mommy, pwede ko hiramin.
7. Pay off all my debts - Credit card installments to end by July. Yipee.
8. Be beautiful - Haha, ang aking ever elusive target... Dapat ba akong magpa rebond? Mgpakulot? Mgpafacial? Vitamin E? Magastos!!!!!
9. Learn to cook more dishes - Hehe. Well, kung lilipat na kami ng bahay, baka naman easy target to.. Lalo na kung makabili ako ng aking dream na oven.. :)
10. Make Jay love me more... - Hehehe.. I know I am already loved much.. But swapang ako eh.. And can never have enough... :)

2007

Good things that happened to me 2007:

1. Got to know my friends here at SHELL
2. Loved my job
3. Was able to spend quality time with Jay (he resigned from Drugmaker's)
4. Was able to go have a family outing with Christine's family in Laiya.
5. Jay got a good job with a compatible schedule (with mine)
6. Excelled in my job.
7. BONUSES!
8. Ate Michelle
9. SUBIC trip with HS Barkada

I know there are still some... Medyo may problem ako ngayon with MEMORY GAPS eh.. Hehe.. Well, for all the things I could and could not remember... THANK YOU LORD...

New Year

What My Name Means --- DAW

What Dyanne Means

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Don't I Wish

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BWISIT

Magulo ngayon dito sa opisina. Masama ang loob ng mga tao, mababa ang morale, disappointed, walang gana magtraba at punong puno ng mga hinaing ang reklamo. Paano naman kasi, yung inaasam2 naming increase at level mula nung June, na ipinaasa noong Oct, at ipinangako ngayong December ay inurong sa March. BAD TRIP.

They're making excuses, as per CSOM daw, 12-24 months ang requirement before level up. Ok, in fairness to the company, talaga namang naksulat yun sa Competency Framework namin. However, in fairness to us, the batch before us, and they are doing the same job we are d oing right now, became CSP 2 upon regularization,and now CSP 3 before the end of their 2nd year. Added to that is the fact that we were given false hopes.. we were lead to believe that the much anticipated and well-deserved raise will take effect this year. NOT!

Good luck nlang. Ngayon, sa baba ng morale ng mga tao, walang gana magtrabaho. Bagsak na bagsak tuloy ang mga stats.

And we don't really care.

*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

That is a very long and deep sigh indeed... i am feeling very heavy today.i feel so down.. but thinking about it, if we are going to be technical about it, there is nothing to feel this way about. i would say that normal people would not feel the way I do right now.

I guess Jay is right.. I am different. But is being different bad? I wouldnt think so...

anyway... i cant wait to get home.. maybe once i am home i would feel a lot lot better...

how i hope so..

Bye bye HWKA

After 8 months of happily being together, the HWKA team is now beng regrouped. The move they say, is for change of manaagement, and to spread best practices among all of us. Though I think that this may actually good for the center, (as there has been several group conflicts among us) I would truly miss my team. Not that we would not be seeing each other, but still. I loved my team... and though I have nothing against my new teammates, it might be hard to achieve the same camaraderie that the HWKA team had.

I dont know.. let's hope not.

I could smell Christmas....

It's mid-October, about 65 days more before Christmas...

Christmas songs are already being played, seasonal sales are already abundant, and some, like here at the office, have already put up Christmas decorations. (Okay, okay, the Xmas trees were only displayed for decision-making)

Anyhow, I'm sooooo excited. I know I am not a kid anymore, and most probably will not get any gifts this Xmas, but so what? I have other reasons to be excited:

1. I will be on vacation from December 24 (Dec 22 actually) to January 1.

2. Les will be arriving from Singapore.

3. HS kada will have a gimik in Subic... After a long time...

4. Jay and I will be celebrating our 4th year together as a married couple.

5. I have ample money to buy gifts for loved ones.

6. I will be buying a few things for myself as a Christmas gift.

7. I will be celebrating 1st year anniversary with Shell, and looking forward to a pay increase!

And I think, above all else....

8. Just because... :)

Tobby's Birthday

LAst Oct 11, we celebrated Tobby's birthday at one of our favorite eating places. GSquared Palutuan at Seaside Ortigas.

Yum Yum.

I truly enjoyed all the food, as I have been craving for them for about 2 months or so. Here are some:

*TEMPURA *DEEP FRIED CRAB

*Spicy Sizzling Squid

Yaya Michelle

May bago kaming Yaya.
Matapos ang 2 taon ni Irish sa amin, pinalitan siya ni Michelle, 35 years old at tubo ring Bacolod. Syempre,hindi ko pa siya masyado kilala, hindi ko pa alam ang ugali niya, at husay niya sa trabaho pero sana ok naman siya...

"7 Things u'l learn in UP"

by Prof. Ryan Cayabyab

1. Ang buhay ay parang IKOT
jeep. Ang iyong patutunguhan ay siya
ring iyong pinanggalingan.


2. U.P. lang ang may TOKI, sa buhay
wala nito. Pero nasasaiyo na yon kung
nais mong pabaligtad ang takbo ng
buhay mo.


3. Sa IKOT, pwede kang magkamali ng
baba kahit ilang beses, sasakay ka
lang uli. Sa buhay, kapag paikot-ikot
ka na at laging mali pa rin ang iyong
baba, naku, may sayad ka.


4. Sa U.P., lahat tayo magaling.
Aminin nating lahat na tayo'y
magagaling. Ang problema dun, lahat
tayo magaling!


5. Kung sa U.P. ay sipsip ka na,
siguradong paglabas mo, sipsip ka pa
rin.


6. Sa U.P., tulad sa buhay, ang babae
at ang lalake, at lahat ng nasa gitna,
ay patas, walang pinagkaiba sa dunong,
sa talino, sa pagmamalasakit, sa
kalawakan ng isipan, sa pag-iibigan;
at kahit na rin sa kabaliwan, sa
kalokohan at sa katarantaduhan.

At ang panghuli:


7. Sa U.P. tulad sa buhay, bawal ang
overstaying.

*by Prof. Ryan Cayabyab
from the Commencement speech given on
April 24, 2005 before the Class of
2005, UP Diliman, Quezon City

Samsung U600

For the FIRST time in 10 years, I bought myself a celfone. Not that I was not using any, it is just that all my phones were just gifts from my mom, hand-me-downs, or line subscription freebies. And more than just buying one for myself, I actually bought one that is a bit costly and high-end. (I was not really very particular with my phones before.. as long as it could text, it is fine with me).

My favorite features of the phone:

1. Document Viewer!!!! - This is actually what made me decide to buy a new phone, I wanted a phone where I could read my ebooks in... I also saved song lyrics so I could sing along with the MP3.

2. 3.2 Megapixel Camera - Well, I dont really get to use this much because I have my digicam, but the pictures are really great. It just takes a little longer to take pics because it still has to do some autofocusing

3. MP3 Player - This is my first phone that has a music player, so forgive me for being excited about it. Hehehe.

Here are other specs of the phone:

Quad-band / EDGE
3.2 Megapixel Camera
(Half Shutter, Auto Focus, Flash)
262144 Color TFT Screen (2.22”)
103.2x49.3x10.9 mm
60 MB + microSD
Video Recording (MPEG4, H.263)
Music Player (MP3, AAC, AAC+, e-AAC+, WMA)
OMA DRM 2.0
Bluetooth v2.0, USB 2.0 (H/S)
FM Radio (RDS)
TV-output (NTSC/PAL)
Document Viewer
Offline Mode
Batter(690mA)- talk time : up to 4.3 hrs- standby time : up to 275 hrs

I love my phone!!!!

Although I cannot help it, there are still times I wish to myself that I did not spend that much and just settled with my free Motorola C261. Well, what can I say? I'm cheap. :)

BANAPPLE

After several weeks of craving for cakes in Banapple, I finally had a taste of what dessert-lovers say as pieces of heaven...



Apple Crumble Pie
Do I agree with them? Well, the Apple Crumble Pie was a bit too sweet for me. I liked the crumb, and the apple had just a tinge of sourness... It would have been nice with ice cream, but twas a bit too much eaten on its own.

Strawberry Amaretto Cheesecake

I liked the cheesecake, but the strawberry was a bit too strong and tasted like medicine. Although delicious, this cake is something that you cannot eat seconds of... You'd get nauseated after finishing (if you are gonna be able to) one whole slice.

Banoffee Pie

The Banoffee Pie is my favorite.. It is made of banana and caramel on a graham crust and topped with whipped cream and chocolate. It had just the right amount of sweetness, but still, I doubt if anyone could eat more than just one.

My New Look

I toyed with my hair last week, tried to cut a few bangs... I ended up cutting way too many, and had to go to the salon to have it fixed.

Now, here is my new look...

2 Day Break

It's Wednesday... And it's the first day of the work week for me.. hehe. i took an emergency leave Monday and Tuesday to be at home with my husband and kids. ANd though I had to take care of them, the two-day home rest is very much appreciated.

Nakakatamad tuloy magtrabaho.. Hehehehehe...

Jollibee

*Sorry blurry picture*

Aside from Mr. Bean's Holiday (which my kids have watched for maybe a hundred times), their favorite video is Jollibee's Ang Pamilya. It is one of 5 VCDs released by Jollibee last year to educate young kids, and truly, my kids love it!

Whenever we want them inside our room, our lure would be... "Nood tayo Jollibee!" And surely, they would run and excitedly await the video. Once playing, they would jump and dance with the music, and quietly watch during the lecture part.

It is because of this video that my Baby James got to know Jollibee.. So whenever he sees Jollibee, he would point, and say something like "..Bee". Hehe. He still does not talk much so let's excuse him...

Anyway, Jay and I have always been Mcdo fans.

Morphed!

Hahahahahhaha. EEEEEw.... This is Jay and I's morphed image... I don't know... I find it funny... But it does look like a normal person right?

The Beans and the Carrot

Hindi ko gusto ang food presentation na ito. For me, I find it offensive kasi I think it is a bit suggestive. I don't know. Baka ako lang ang kung anu- ano ang pinagiisip. Haha

What do you think?

Greenhills Shopping

After several failed plans to go to Greenhills, Jay and I finally went there yesterday. Grabe, ang dame ko napamili! For just 3000 pesos, I was able to buy 10 blouses, 1 pants, and 1 sandals. Grabe ang saya!!!!

Actually, at first, medyo nahirapan ako mamili.. Hindi kasi talaga ako bumibili ng mga damit that costs more than 300, actually, 200 pa nga eh. But I realized na talagang nagmahal na ang mga damit ngayon, at I should raise my cap a little bit. And I did. konti lang. ANd after I bought my 2nd blouse, dire-diretso na!!! Shopping spree ito! I had so mch fun beacuse I rarely buy things for myself, at lalong hindi ang ganito karami.

Nagpadagdag pa ng saya ko is that hindi grumpy kasama si Jay kahapon. hehe. Normally, when we go to Greenhills or anywhere to shop, mainit ang ulo nun. Ayaw niya kasi. But kahapon, masayahin siya, cracked a lot of jokes, was sweet the whole time, at may halong pambobola pa. Hahahaha.

Salamat mahal. :)

DEATH OF AN ANGEL

She was supposed to be a HE, the 5th boy apo of the LArgueza family. When she came out at around 9am, I remembered how we cheered that she was actually a girl. Finally!

But she was very small. 5 lbs at full term. Also, she had very small ears that almost had no opening, no ankle bones on the left foot, and she had a hole on her palate. She was not normal.

We were saddened by her case, but we were hopeful; never doubting she would make it through despite everything. We were proven wrong 8 hours after. While everybody thought she was just peacefully, she was no longer breathing by 5PM.

And so she's gone... faster than she arrived... She left us with feelings of disbelief & sadness (for her parents: grief).

For those who have little faith, questions would surely arise, and no answers to follow. BUt for us who believe in the goodness of the Lord, though numerous questions are there, there is one complete answer.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

TALO

I lost. Tsk tsk. I was praying for God to give me good letters, for Him to five me high scoring consonants, but I forgot to ask for vowels as well. Haha. I was unable to use my consonants as I had no vowels during the latter part of the game. I was beaten by a very big margin. both my opponents scored more than a hundred points higher than I did. Tsk tsk. Terrible isn't it?

I really wanted to win, I really thought I could win, but bad luck took over, and that was it... Good thing, I was not as upset as I thought I would be. I was fearing that if I lose, I would really be miserable and would really cry. Maybe God consoled my spirit, for though I was disappointed, I was immediately able to accept it.

Truly God is good. Thank you God, you have not let me won, but you have made me stronger.

I was afraid, but God gave me the courage to face, and rise above my fears.

2nd Round of Elimination

Haaaay. Grabe, kinakabahan ako. Mamaya, 2nd round of eliminations na sa Scrabble ng aming Sportsfest. I won the first round, but this time I will be facing those who also won. Kalaban ko pa ang sup ko at isa sa aming mga Operations Manager. O diba, mga bigatin? haaaay.

Anyway, natutuwa rin naman ako. Gusto ko kasi talagang maglaro, at ngeenjoy talaga ako sa Scrabble.

Gusto ko na mg-4 pm!!!!

The Da Vinci Code

I have long wanted to read this book or to watch the film. Last night, I had the opportunity to watch it, and man, was I disappointed.

I love mysteries, and surely this movie falls into that category. However, no matter how I try to be open-minded about it, no matter how I try to be appreciative of it, I just did not like the movie.

I don't know, maybe I could appreciate the book a lot better...

Haay naku. Ang tagal tagal ko na hindi nagsusulat. Ewan ko ba. Gusto ko magsulat ng magsulat, pero minsan, wala lang ako masabi. Haha.

Siguro ngayon I better talk na lang about Jay's new job. Nung una sobrang very hesistant kami na mag-panggabi siya. Syempre diba, mahirap naman talaga na pagkatapos mong masanay for almost 4 years na katabi ang isa't isa matulog, biglang hindi na.

It turned out na ok naman pala. Kasi ang pasok niya ay 10pm or 11pm lang, by the time he leaves, sobrang antok na ako at ready na matulog. Maganda rin na maaga ako nakakauwi kaya mahaba parin naman ang time namin together. Yun nga lang, imbis na matulog na kami, siya ay aalis at ako ang matutulog mag-isa.

Maganda rin na weekends off naman siya, so we still have quality time then.

Siguro, it just goes to show na even if we dont get excatly what we want, the Lord makes sure that everything works out for us still. Hindi man niya ibigay ang ating bawat kahilingan, hindi naman niya tayo pababayaan...

Thank you Lord.

Death

Last Saturday, we went to the wake of an aacquaintance who committed suicide. He was my husband's basketball teammate, and though I was not close with him, his death still affected me much.

We know that problems are everywhere, I would not think anyone is spared from them. What I am thinking of right now though is what are the people who comits suicide feeling to commit such an act? I think it is not really with the problem per se. People who have similar problems react to them differently, so I guess it would be more of the actual feeling. How depressed were they? Or is it just craziness? Hopelessness with their life?

It also made me think of how awful it must have been for his parents who first saw him. It must have been unbearable. Imagine seeing the body of your lifeless son hanging from the ceiling... Just the thought of them makes me cry... I wonder if I will be able to bear it? Most probably not.

Death- always bad, always sad... And will always leave you with something to think of.

Sore Eyes

Had sore eyes for two days, so I was not able to report to work. Actually, I did so, but was sent home immediately. Though I did not want to be absent, it was really a blessing in disguise for me as I was able to stay home and spend some time with Jay. As I have previously posted, he just started training and surely a lot of stories are to be told.

Well, I am back now, and I have a lot to catch up on. Not that I need to, but I want to.

Night Shift

After months of deliberation and hoping otherwise, Jay finally accepted a night-shift job offer. It was a difficult decision, becuase I had been very vocal about my difficulties sleeping at night without him, and had gotten used to the quantity and quality time we were able to spend together once I get home. But it was a decision we had to make. We prayed hard and we lifted everything to God. We asked Him for guidance and this is where he lead us.

I now pray that He'll continue to guide us, and to help us through the difficulties.

God's Grace

I am still a bit shaken right now.

Barely 20 minutes ago, while I was on my way to work, our bus got held-up. I was not completely aware of the suroundings that time; half of me was sleepy, and the other half was busy daydreaming about the day ahead. Suddenly, 6 men stood up all at once and started making noice. I couldn't quite decipher what they were saying, but when I saw the small pocketknife, no words were needed.

There was one hold-upper beside me, for reasons I do not know, he reached for the man in front of me instead. He was pointing the knife at the guy, asking for his cellphone. At this time, I was already shaking with fear, silently calling out for God's help. I was almost reaching for my phone and camers, ready to give them up for my safety.

But God was in control. Less than ten seconds after they stood up, they all went down the bus. I was not touched, I was saved.

I cried when it was over. I can't help but be overwhelmed with God's presence and power over my life. At this low point in my life I was somehow losing faith, thinking that my life is going nowhere. But today, He showed me that He is still in control.

And to you God I lift up my life. Thank you.

Loyalty awarded by betrayal

Last night's non-eviction of Wendy Valdez showed us that we, the viewers, are not really the ones who has to power to choose who will get booted out.

Our first dose of disappointment came almost a week ago when despite the viewers' obvious hatred with Wendy, she did not get evicted. OKay, granting that Nel supporters became complacent, I gave it another chance. Come Thursday, Bruce got evicted. Okay, Wendy was still saved but at least it was him who got evicted. As we know all those who hate Wendy also hate Bruce. Worse for him is that he no longer has the supporters that Wendy has. SO finally, last night. Everyone was anticipating the exit of Wendy. We were all disappointed.

It was announced by Toni that last night's eviction was able to garner the most number of votes from all the PBB editions. Do they know the reason why? Because the whole PBB-watching Filipino community voted to get Wendy out. I for example, have watched all PBBs and other contests in ABS and never have I wasted precious money on voting. Not until I wanted Wendy evicted. I voted all the other 4 HMs more than I should, and I believe all those who hated Wendy tried to do as well. Despite our efforts though, she is still inside.

I am not discounting the fact that she still has supporters. But I doubt that they would be able to pool AT LEAST 717,484 votes (19.31%, IF she was the 4th lowest). Hear the people shouting "Wendy Labas". Truly, someone who is hated that much by the crowd should not be included in the Big 4. This shows us that the results truly were manipulated.

Manipulation may not have been done by ABS-CBN. If they are thinking of the show, of ratings, then they would not have let Wendy win becuase this would make the viewers angry, and totally lose interest in the show. It could have been done by a rich supporter (some would say DOM), a politician, a company, or a rival of ABS-CBN out to destroy the fan-base of the show. We can only guess.

The end-point is, we have tried to make the choice. The chance was given to us, we COULD VOTE; but the power was not, we COULD NOT EVICT.

So much for "Nasa inyong mga kamay kung sino ang mapapabilang sa Big Four...".

We have been loyal. We have supported the show, staying up late at night and voting. This is what we got in return.

We got betrayed.

Basura sa Loob at Labas ng Bahay

Nitong mga nakaraang linggo, baduy man kung baduy, pero saobrang nahumaling ako sa Pinoy Big Brother Season 2. Ang dahilan: Si Wendy.

For no reason whatsoever do I watch PBB religiously because I like her; in contrast, I watch it because I hate her so much.

The past few days, she had been attacking the sweet and gentle Gee-ann and Beatriz. ANg kapal ng mukha niya. Oops, sorry for my language.

Anyone who was able to see at least one of the last few episodes would more than likely share my sentiments. Nakakabwisit talaga siya. Walang tigil siya sa pagbitaw ng mga masasakit at mapanirang salita, sa pangaapi, sa pagpapakita ng kanyang masamang ugali. Haay, ayaoko na masyadong mgexpound dahil nabwbwisit lang ako.

Ngayon, lagi tuloy laman ng usapan sa bahay ang pagkabwisit namin kay Wendy. Miski nga sa news, pinapakita na bwisit ang buong Pilipinas sa kanya.

Sa isang banda nga ay naaawa ako sa kanya eh. Dahil ngayon pa lamang ay sobrang dami ng malisyoso at mapanirang balita tungkol sa kanya. Totoo man yun o hindi, pangit man ang pinapakita niya sa loob ng bahay, pakiramdam ko pa rin ay hindi nararapat na makalakal ang buhay niya kay=tulad ng nangyayari ngayon. Yun nga lang, ang lahat ng iyon ay kagagawan rin niya.

Tsk Tsk Tsk.

Puro basura kasi ang inilabas niya sa bahay eh, puro basura tuloy ang lumabas tungkol sa kanya.

Vacation Leave

Masarap magpahinga. Kahapon, inenjoy ko ang isa sa mga ipinagkaloob na VL sa amin. Wala naman akong espesyal na ginawa. Sinamahan ko lang ang aking mommy mamili ng materyales at nagpahinga sa bahay. Kahit ganoon, masayang-masaya ako sa akong naging pahinga. Nakalaro ko ang aking mga anak, nakapiling ang aking mahal na asawa, at syempre, nalayo panandalian sa trabaho.
Sa Lunes, naka-leave ulit ako. HIndi na ako makapaghintay. Hehehe.

I know. I am Ningas-Kugon.

I hate myself for being what you would call ningas-kugon. I start out on a project passionately, but somewhere in the middle, I lose my fire and stop.

Take this blogging for example. I have noticed that my posts have dwindled. Not that I don't want to write.It is just that i can't seem to. I really try, promise.. But I just cant.

Another example is my photography. I had really been into it. I bought a new camera, saved a lot of photography websites on my favorites, practiced a lot.. But now I have stopped taking pictures altogether.

Tsk tsk.

Thinking about it, I am inclined to blame it on my mediocre output. I mean, I am not proud of what i produce... sadly, not even satisfied.

I try and try, and yet I am unable to be the genius that I hope to be.

We could say I have very high expectations.

But I am more convinced that I just have very low potential.

Happy Birthday to Me!

My teammates surprised me with this greeting over our widescreen projector. Sweet.

Also bought me a delicious cake from Red Ribbon.

Thank you Guys....

Birthday

It's my birthday tomorrow.

I have nothing special planned, and maybe that is my fault. I am not really excited about my birthday; I have been asked sveral times about what I want to do, but there is nothing I could think of.

I wonder why?

I have always been religious when it comes to celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and special days. I used to believe that on those days, one needs to celebrate and feel special.

Now, I wonder what has changed?

Is it my age? Have I lost the enthusiasm that children exhibit?

Is it my disposition? Have I become too bored or burdened with life that I no longer want to celebrate it?

Or maybe I just like surprises.

Reklamo

Nakakaantok.

Ang hirap talaga kapag kailangan mong gumising ng alas-4 ng umaga.
Ang hirap magtrabaho kapag gusto mo lang matulog o magbabad sa iyong kama.

May bago ba? E mahirap naman talaga kumita ng pera.
O mahirap talagang magpaka-kuntento at mawalan ng reklamo sa buhay?

Siguro yung pangalawa. Tama na nga, hindi na ako magrereklamo. Tutal naman, mahal ko naman ang trabaho ko, ang mga katrabaho ko, at ang pinagtratrabahuhan ko.

E bakit kaya may reklamo pa rin ako? Kasi nga siguro, mahirap makuntento.

Sino Ako?

Sa kapapanood ko ng Pinoy Big Brother, napa-isip tuloy ako.Tatlong magkakaugnay na tanong ang ngayon ay naglalaro sa aking isipan.

Una, kung ako ang nasa loob ng bahay, anong klaseng paguugali, pagkatao o personalidad ang makikita sa akin ng mga manonood? Anong klaseng tao ba ako sa paningin ng iba?

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam ang sagot sa tanong na iyun. Dahil na rin marahil sa hindi ko alam ang sagot sa pangalawang tanong ko: Ano ba ang pagkakakilala ko sa sarili ko? Ano ba ako sa paningin ko? Mukhang madaling tanong, tutal sino ba ang pinakanakakakilala sa atin kundi ang ating sarili? Pero isang tanong na talagang nahihirapan akong sagutin. Katunayan, ayaw na ayaw kong tinatanong sa mga interviews nung ako ay nagaapply ng trabaho ng "Describe yourself".Nastre-stress ako dahil nakikita ko kung paano ko hindi kilala ang aking sarili. Mahirap na kalagayan.

Dahil hindi ko alam ang sagot sa mga tanong na aking unang nabanggit, hindi ko rin mapigilang makaramdam ng insecurities. Pakiramdam ko, kung ako ang nasa PBB, ako ay magiging isang walang kwentang housemate. Walang dating, walang personalidad. E kung ako nga eh, hindi ko makita kung ano ako, hindi ko makita ang kagalingan o kagandahan ko, paano pa kaya yung iba? Syempre ito, hindi lang naman sa PBB. Kahit sa pangaraw-araw na buhay. Ako ba ang klase ng tao na gugustuhin mong makilala? Gaganda o sasaya ba ang buhay mo kung ako ay iyong kaibigan? Parang hindi eh. Hindi ko nga rin maisip ang sarili ko bilang bida sa isang nobela o sa isang pelikula eh. Sa mga libro ni Danielle Steel o si Sideney Sheldon kasi, and aking mga paboritong manunulat, ang mga bidang babae ay laging maganda, matalino, may karakter.

Nakakalungot noh? Na hindi mo kilala ang sarili mo. Dagdagan pa ng liit ng tingin sa sarili, ng kawalan ng kumpiyansa o bilib sa sarili.

Dahil dito, gustong sagutin ang aking pangatlong tanong: Sino ba akong talaga? Hindi kung ano lamang ang nakikita ng iba, hindi kung ano ang iniisip ko, kundi ang tunay na ako. Yung akong ginawa ng Panginoon. Sigurado, dahil gawa ng Panginoon, espesyal ang akong iyon. Sigurado, may halaga at may kwenta.

At gusto ko na siyang makilala.

I'm back

Hello! I'm back from Batangas (actually kahapon pa naman, kaso tinamad ako mgsulat, sorry!) and okay naman ang naging outing namin. Okay dahil medyo disappointing yung lugar. Harhar. Actually, the beach is still beautiful. Light brown sand & clear blue-green water...

ANg problem, yung resort na tinulugan namin. Admittedly, naghanap ako ng medyo mura para mapilit ko si mommy na matuloy ang outing namin. Dahil dun, nascrifice pala ang quality at beauty ng t=resort. Hehe. We stayed at Triple-G resort in Laiya Beach and our cottage cost P7000 good for 15 people. Meron na siyang 3 queen size bed so mga 10 yung makakahiga and the rest slept on the floor. May kitchen and bathroom naman siya but medyo icky na yung banyo. Hehe. Last year kasi we stayed in Sabangan. The cottage was more expensive, P9000 for 9 people. Pero definitely mas maganda dun. Malinis at maganda ang banyo at kwarto at kumpleto rin ang mga gamit sa kusina. At ang pinakadisappointment ko sa Triple G, ay hindi kami beachfront tapos may picnic area pa sila na free ang entrance kaya sobrang dameng tao na ngswiswimming. :(

So medyo disappointed ako... Bitin pa... I think yung family ko and yung kasama namain nabitin rin dahil nagkakaakitan naman ngayon to go to GAlera. Haha. Matuloy kaya kami? We'll see.

My Celeb Look-alikes

Can someone tell this face recognition software that I do not look like Toni Morrison?!

All my bags are packed & I'm ready to go

I'm not leaving on a jetplane. I am just going to our annual family outing and I am soooooo excited.

We are not going anywhere far, hence no jetplane. The distance though, or the lack of it, is not an issue. We are going to Laiya Beach in San Juan Batangas and those who are unable to go to the white beaches of Puerto GAlera for one reason or another can go to this place instead.

More about the place when I get back.

I'm still at work right now and my mind can't help but fly 120kms south. Who can blame me? Our family's outings always turn out to be fun so anticipation is quite normal. I just hope that the outing will meet all my expectations...

Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow, and I can hardly wait...

Happiness

I have long thought to myself what happiness really is. How do we define it? What makes up happiness? Is it feeling totally free from negative emotions, or is it being contented with what you have, or is it simply a state of mind? I wish to define it not because I have turned philosophical nor because I want to be the next Mr Webster, but because I want to know if I could say I am truly happy.

I find it hard to define happiness because there are questions that bothers me about the state of being happy. Is happiness an overwhelming and absolute feeling? By that I mean, do we say we are happy only when there is nothing more in our life that we could ask for? Could we be happy only when everything is perfect? Inversely, are we not happy when there are still aspects of our life that need improvement?

I am bothered by these because if Yes is the answer to all those questions, then truly I could not be happy. And I do not want to think I am not.

So I am trying to see it now with a different perspective. Maybe we dont need a perfect life to be happy. Maybe happiness is born not out of circumstances that we are in, but from the attitude that we possess regarding these circumstances. Our lives may still leave a lot to be desired, yet, happiness could be found within. How? Let me quote William H. Sheldon:

"Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation."

So happiness is not really about what we have now, but what we believe we are going to achieve. It is not about not wanting anything else for our lives, but knowing that in time we'd get it. Or actually, maybe we won't even get it, but the journey, doing something, towards the kind of life that we want is enough to make us happy.

Luckily, there is something that makes this journey more fulfilling for some. It is the presence of loved ones that we travel together with. People who hold our hands on our way to wherever we are going. For me, that would be Jay and my kids. The people who make my happiness more complete.

Now, I should be able to say without doubt that I am happy. I still have a lot of dreams and prayers for my life, but I am on my way there.

WE are on our way there.