Monday, January 29, 2007

PHOTOGRAPHY





Just before the year started, I promised myself to start a new hobby: photography. Actually, I want it to be more than just a hobby. I want to develop a passion, and I want to be good in it. I've been trying to practice, trying to learn everything I could to be decent in my chosen (although of course, it was not a forced choice) passion. I try to read all the sites I could go to that offer tips on photography, and I try to go to places where I could take good pictures. But somehow, I am feeling a little frustrated. I know that taking pictures actually makes me happy at times, and yet sad as well.

I feel happy because little by little I am learning, and I am able to develop something, and someday I hope I would become a good photographer. Right now I know I am not yet one, but I have high hopes for myself. Haha. Which may be the very reason I get saddened as well.

I am so into photography now, but to whom shall I share my passion with? I love taking pictures, but at the end of the day, to whom do I show my pictures to? Who appreciates them? Of course, I have Jay... But I've taken a lot of pictures and yet I can't remember a picture he really liked. Either I have really no potential in photography, or he just really is not into photos. If I believe the first one, it will frustrate me; if I believe the second one, it will sadden me. Aaargh. I know I also have friends who are into photography as well but: Les, who was actually the one to influence my liking for photography... Too bad she has other friends to whom she already shares photography with; Bang, who really likes to pose and smile for the camera ( and looks real good too)... Well, like Les, I am not able to see her as much as I would want to. So, it saddens me. Good thing I have my seatmate Paula.. She is starting to get interested in photography as well, and during breaks we get to show each other our pictures. But still...

Also, I love taking pictures... I'd love to take pictures in beautiful places. I would really enjoy visiting different places, near or far... Alas, I dont get too have that much opportunity. If only I could spend my weekends going to places, taking pictures, being with my family... I don't want to spend my weekends stuck in my room sleeping. I want to live, and explore, and capture the beauty all around me.

So there. My love for photography, my desire to excel, and my high hopes... Making me happy, yet making me sad as well.. Frustrating.

(Well, I actually believe that it could be psychological. I believe that with just a little conditioning and change of attitude, if I focus on what is good, I could truly be happy.)

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