Thursday, August 20, 2009

What if?

The news is out. Today, 8 of my friends became doctors. I am very happy for them - special mention to Ria who placed 5th. I know they've studied hard and that they deserve that title.

Now, this news made me think: "What if I had been celebrating with them today?" Meaning, what if I had not opted the easy way out and pursued medicine, just as I had planned 12, (until 7) years ago?

As a young kid, I had always thought I would be either a doctor or a lawyer. These two careers required some degree of intelligence, which humbly, I think I had. I know I could have been with them today. I could have passed that exam as well (ok, even if not on the 1st try, I would think I'd nail it on the 2nd). What I didn't have though, was the focus to see my dreams through.

Somewhere in the middle of my pre-med course, I changed my mind. Thought I'd rather be a lawyer, but then again, even before I finish my then pre-law course, I changed my mind the second time and decided I'm happy with just being a graduate of Psychology. I cannot even be called a Psychologist.

Years after my decision, I am plagued with the "What ifs...?" I think I am happy with my job, but, please Lord, tell me I made the right choice. Tell me I am on the right path. Tell me that this is really where I belong. Maybe I won't hear God's answer today, but I'll wait. I know he'll let me know soon enough.

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