For the past several months, I have been enjoying several TV series that showcase the excellence of men. I have watched and admired the brilliant minds of The Practice's lawyers, the life-saving skills of Grey's Anatomy's surgeons, and the crime-busting intuitive minds of CSI NY's investigators. All these shows have main characters who are intelligent, smart, and have jobs that matter (Matter a great deal), and it made me think about where I am now...
In a Call Center. Doing work that my high school brother could do. (Ok, I think I do it better than he can but still...) I wonder what hapened to my dreams of greatness when I was a kid? I had wanted to be a hotshot lawyer, or a world-renowned doctor... I had wanted to be somebody. Well, come to think of it, I still want to be somebody. I still want to make use of the gifts God has given me. I still want to have a job that matters. Then, can someone tell me why I am still here? Why have I not reached the potentials my parents thought I was to accomplish?
It is all my fault. My life right now has all been my decision. I chose to attend UP, I chose to take BS Psychology, I chose to shift from BS to BA, I chose not to continue to Med or Law school and I chose a call center agent career. Now, choosing to go to UP had not been a bad move, but all the other choices I made after doomed me for failure.
What is it with me? Why had I made those choices? Damn, I'm not really sure. I think maybe because I do not push myself hard enough. I settled for something less than what I had hoped for myself. I had been too lazy to try to become more than what I am...
And so I admire those people who had achieved a lot. Those whose jobs mean something, and those who are leading the lives they have dreamt of. I am quite sure they are where they are not simply because of luck. They have done something, a lot of things even, to be where they are, and they are reaping the rewards.
And they are there while I am here, because I did nothing.
